Tuesday, September 4, 2007

--Hollywood Star and Rich Arab Boyfriend Die in Drunken High-Speed Crash

Hollywood Star and Rich Arab Boyfriend Die in Drunken High-Speed Crash

by Michael Jahn

If you followed the Princess Di anniversary hoopla -- and if you managed to avoid it please share your secret -- you would think that Joan of Arc, not the former Diana Spencer, was killed in that Parisian wreck.

Diana seems like she was a decent sort who suffered at the hands of a caddish husband. That makes her like every other chick-flick heroine. You know, the wife is upstairs caring for her dying mother while the husband is in the basement banging the babysitter. She began her public life as inoffensive arm candy and ended it in a flurry of noblesse oblige. That is what royals do, and noblesse oblige is better than no oblige, but she did it particularly well.

That does not, however, qualify her for canonization.

Which is exactly what's on the mind on the hordes of writers, actors, and other hacks who are living off her memory and what they would like people to believe is her memory. They want to sell books, magazines, and the commercial space within their soap opera documentaries.

Imagine what the headline might read should a beloved blonde American icon - hold on, I'm trying to think of one - okay, let's go with Jennifer Aniston, flame out while fleeing surveillance by going 80 miles an hour through a tunnel with a rich Arab she was courting after being abandoned by the caddish husband.

JEN AND RICH ARAB BOYFRIEND DIE IN DRUNKEN HIGH-SPEED CRASH

There would be no canonization. Instead, we would hear a lot of talk about blondes and rehab and she would be compared with Lindsay Lohan and the rest of that lot. Now we're hearing Di being compared with every saintly, misunderstood and eventually martyred woman in history.

And can you just IMAGINE what Fox News would say about the rich Arab boyfriend?

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