Last week the polical wizard Barack Obama actually spoke the words “do you smell what Barack is cooking?”
Holy shit, why not just hand the keys to the kingdom to the Republican attack squad? How long does Obama think it will take the GOP to plaster the hinterlands with speculation concerning chicken recipes.?
If nominated, Obama will be eaten alive. Extra crispy.
www.myspace.com/michael_jahn
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
-- Dr. Who Goes Toon
The long-running and once-respected British sci fi series Dr. Who has become a cartoon, with acting out of 60s comic action TV and music out of 50s drama.
The time-travelling Doctor, now played by David Tennant, would be better played by Jackie Chan. Tennant's Doctor is always terrified and in a panic. The villains are comic and the plots are preposterous.
Nearly all the nine previous actors to play the Doctor played him with a certain British savoir-faire, not quite James Bond but always with a certain cocky elegance. The previous Doctor, Christopher Eccleston, was second only to the classic Doctor, played by Tom Baker in the late 60s. Baker's Doctor was a kind of Edwardian fop, but he instilled confidence.
With him you sensed that the good guys would survive the episode. With Tennant the feeling is that only a visit from Jackie Chan, in a jokey furor as he busted up a hotel lobby, would save the day.
Rumor is that Tennant will quit soon to make his way to Hollywood. This is good. Chris Tucker could use a like spirit to play off. Time for an 11th Doctor. I suggest the producers hire Kim Possible.
The time-travelling Doctor, now played by David Tennant, would be better played by Jackie Chan. Tennant's Doctor is always terrified and in a panic. The villains are comic and the plots are preposterous.
Nearly all the nine previous actors to play the Doctor played him with a certain British savoir-faire, not quite James Bond but always with a certain cocky elegance. The previous Doctor, Christopher Eccleston, was second only to the classic Doctor, played by Tom Baker in the late 60s. Baker's Doctor was a kind of Edwardian fop, but he instilled confidence.
With him you sensed that the good guys would survive the episode. With Tennant the feeling is that only a visit from Jackie Chan, in a jokey furor as he busted up a hotel lobby, would save the day.
Rumor is that Tennant will quit soon to make his way to Hollywood. This is good. Chris Tucker could use a like spirit to play off. Time for an 11th Doctor. I suggest the producers hire Kim Possible.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
-- Battlestar Galactica and Diving Through the Old Sphincter
This is about Battlestar Galactica and taking the intergalactic plunging through the old sphincter
It’s really cheap-shit producing when you have murderous aliens who look just like their human victims. It’s saving money. No more expensive costumes. No more time and money spent on rubber masks and fake limbs. Other examples of cheap-shit producing:
—Gene Roddenberry saving heaps of money by inventing the transporter beam (no need for shuttle models and concommitant expense).
—The producers of Stargate SG1 saving even more money by inventing what Richard Dean Anderson called “the old sphincter,” thereby eliminating spacecraft entirely.
If BSG gets more soapoperish the show will be 100% backstory with no need for space hardware at all.
My Tumblr page
It’s really cheap-shit producing when you have murderous aliens who look just like their human victims. It’s saving money. No more expensive costumes. No more time and money spent on rubber masks and fake limbs. Other examples of cheap-shit producing:
—Gene Roddenberry saving heaps of money by inventing the transporter beam (no need for shuttle models and concommitant expense).
—The producers of Stargate SG1 saving even more money by inventing what Richard Dean Anderson called “the old sphincter,” thereby eliminating spacecraft entirely.
If BSG gets more soapoperish the show will be 100% backstory with no need for space hardware at all.
My Tumblr page
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
--Munchausen by Payday
Munchausen by Payday
by Michael Jahn
Britney Spear's parents are cashing in on her head scramblings.
Lindsay Lohan's parents are going to the bank based on her rehabitual collapses.
And now Dannielynn Smith is embarking upon eye surgery unaware that her father is selling the rights to the story, say gossip sites.
Celebrities selling pix of their kids is nothing new. It seems impossible for a celebrity to spawn lately without tapping one of the tabs or supermarket rags for a few mil. Supposedly Christina Aguilera is upset that her kid pics are fetching a fraction of J. Lo's kids pics.
So there's nothing new about that. I'm sure that J Lo needs the money.
What IS new is celebrity parents cashing in on their kids illnesses. Even more, celebrity parents driving their kids so hard they wind up in rehab and then the folks sell the story to the highest bidder.
You know the history. First came Munchausen Syndrome. A person makes herself - it's usually a woman - to get attention from doctors. Then came Munchausen by Proxy. Mom makes her KID sick so she can get attention from doctors, but without enduring the actual pain herself. But now we have something new. You can call it Munchausen by Payday. A double payback - attention from the psychiatrists AND a big payday.
Baron Munchausen would be jealous. He only told tall tales about himself and no one paid him.
-30-
by Michael Jahn
Britney Spear's parents are cashing in on her head scramblings.
Lindsay Lohan's parents are going to the bank based on her rehabitual collapses.
And now Dannielynn Smith is embarking upon eye surgery unaware that her father is selling the rights to the story, say gossip sites.
Celebrities selling pix of their kids is nothing new. It seems impossible for a celebrity to spawn lately without tapping one of the tabs or supermarket rags for a few mil. Supposedly Christina Aguilera is upset that her kid pics are fetching a fraction of J. Lo's kids pics.
So there's nothing new about that. I'm sure that J Lo needs the money.
What IS new is celebrity parents cashing in on their kids illnesses. Even more, celebrity parents driving their kids so hard they wind up in rehab and then the folks sell the story to the highest bidder.
You know the history. First came Munchausen Syndrome. A person makes herself - it's usually a woman - to get attention from doctors. Then came Munchausen by Proxy. Mom makes her KID sick so she can get attention from doctors, but without enduring the actual pain herself. But now we have something new. You can call it Munchausen by Payday. A double payback - attention from the psychiatrists AND a big payday.
Baron Munchausen would be jealous. He only told tall tales about himself and no one paid him.
-30-
Sunday, January 6, 2008
-- My Dead Rock Stars
My Dead Rock Stars
by Mike Jahn
This year marks the 40th anniversay of my becoming the first rock critic of The New York Times and, as such, the first full-time rock critic of any major American newspaper or other form of major media. It was a dirty job -- forget Mike Rowe's septic tanks and oil spills -- but someone had to do it. Why was it dirty and depressing? Because I've known a lot of rock stars who have become deceased, rung down the curtain, ceased to be, kicked the bucket, croaked, shuffled off this mortal coil, or in one way or another joined the choir eternal. The number stands at 24.
It's tempting to think that drugs were behind most of these abrupt departures. However, in many cases death came via unrelated medical problems -- heart attacks or cancer, mainly. A number DID die of overdoses of either drugs or alcohol, sometimes both. Others succumbed to crashes by planes, cars, and skiing into trees. There also were murders and one suicide, possibly to avoid death by any of the aforementioned.
If you are adding up and tracking deaths per band, that would be three-fifths of Canned Heat, half of the Who, two-fifths of MC5, one-third of the Jimi Hendrix Experience, and a quarter each of the Beatles and Doors.
Here's the list.
SPIRITS OF ROCK STARS PASSED [sic]
Harry Chapin -- died July 16, 1981, in a car accident.
Jim Croce -- died in a plane crash September 20, 1973.
John Denver -- died in a plane crash October 12, 1997.
John Entwistle -- bassist for the Who, died June 28, 2002 of a heart attack also involving cocaine
and a prostitute. In Vegas, naturally.
Rory Gallagher -- Irish blues rocker, died June 1995, of complications of a liver transplant.
Jerry Garcia -- died August 9, 1995 of a heroin-related heart attack doubtlessly aggravated by his lifelong taste for junk food.
Jimi Hendrix -- died September 18, 1970, of a drug overdose. He would be humiliated by his surviving family's messy fight over his estate.
Bob Hite: six-foot, 300-poind singer for Canned Heat, died of a heart attack April 5, 1981.
Janis Joplin -- died of a heroin overdose October 4, 1970.
Ronnie Lane -- of the Faces and Rod Stewart and Faces; died June 5, 1997, of multiple sclerosis.
John Lennon -- murdered on December 8, 1980, outside his apartment building, New York's 19th century landmark the Dakota, which also was the setting for "Rosemary's Baby." He would have enjoyed the postmortem idolatry.
Linda McCartney -- one-time photographer and part-time, sort-of backup singer; died April 17, 1998, of breast cancer.
Keith Moon -- the Who's wild man drummer; drowned in his own vomit following a drug overdose on September 7, 1978, surprising no one.
Jim Morrison - died July 3, 1971, by one account of a heroin overdose, surprising even fewer than were surprised by Keith Moon. He would have enjoyed the postmortem idolatry even more than John Lennon.
Felix Pappalardi, of Mountain, April 17, 1983, murdered in the building where my dentist worked.
Elvis Presley, August 16, 1977, drug overdose aggravated by too many fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches. He would have enjoyed the deification.
Billy Preston - R&B keyboardman who became famous for his work with the Beatles, died June 5, 2006, of kidney failure.
Fred "Sonic" Smith -- of MC5, later husband of Patti Smith (no blood relation). died November 5, 1994, of heart disease.
Henry Vestine -- guitarist with Canned Heat; died October 20, 1997, of a heart attack.
Rob Tyner -- singer for MC5, died September 17, 1991 of heart failure while driving home from the grocery store.
Dave Van Ronk - "the Mayor of Macdougal Street" and early nurturer of many folksingers; died February 10, 2002, of colon cancer.
Alan Wilson -- guitarist with Canned Heat. He killed himself in Bob Hite's backyard September 3, 1970.
Frank Zappa -- rock's cranky innovator and first-amendment advocate who clashed famously with anti-rock activist Tipper Gore over censorship of rock lyrics; died of prostate cancer on December 4, 1993. He would have loved that it was her husband who got the Nobel.
by Mike Jahn
This year marks the 40th anniversay of my becoming the first rock critic of The New York Times and, as such, the first full-time rock critic of any major American newspaper or other form of major media. It was a dirty job -- forget Mike Rowe's septic tanks and oil spills -- but someone had to do it. Why was it dirty and depressing? Because I've known a lot of rock stars who have become deceased, rung down the curtain, ceased to be, kicked the bucket, croaked, shuffled off this mortal coil, or in one way or another joined the choir eternal. The number stands at 24.
It's tempting to think that drugs were behind most of these abrupt departures. However, in many cases death came via unrelated medical problems -- heart attacks or cancer, mainly. A number DID die of overdoses of either drugs or alcohol, sometimes both. Others succumbed to crashes by planes, cars, and skiing into trees. There also were murders and one suicide, possibly to avoid death by any of the aforementioned.
If you are adding up and tracking deaths per band, that would be three-fifths of Canned Heat, half of the Who, two-fifths of MC5, one-third of the Jimi Hendrix Experience, and a quarter each of the Beatles and Doors.
Here's the list.
SPIRITS OF ROCK STARS PASSED [sic]
Harry Chapin -- died July 16, 1981, in a car accident.
Jim Croce -- died in a plane crash September 20, 1973.
John Denver -- died in a plane crash October 12, 1997.
John Entwistle -- bassist for the Who, died June 28, 2002 of a heart attack also involving cocaine
and a prostitute. In Vegas, naturally.
Rory Gallagher -- Irish blues rocker, died June 1995, of complications of a liver transplant.
Jerry Garcia -- died August 9, 1995 of a heroin-related heart attack doubtlessly aggravated by his lifelong taste for junk food.
Jimi Hendrix -- died September 18, 1970, of a drug overdose. He would be humiliated by his surviving family's messy fight over his estate.
Bob Hite: six-foot, 300-poind singer for Canned Heat, died of a heart attack April 5, 1981.
Janis Joplin -- died of a heroin overdose October 4, 1970.
Ronnie Lane -- of the Faces and Rod Stewart and Faces; died June 5, 1997, of multiple sclerosis.
John Lennon -- murdered on December 8, 1980, outside his apartment building, New York's 19th century landmark the Dakota, which also was the setting for "Rosemary's Baby." He would have enjoyed the postmortem idolatry.
Linda McCartney -- one-time photographer and part-time, sort-of backup singer; died April 17, 1998, of breast cancer.
Keith Moon -- the Who's wild man drummer; drowned in his own vomit following a drug overdose on September 7, 1978, surprising no one.
Jim Morrison - died July 3, 1971, by one account of a heroin overdose, surprising even fewer than were surprised by Keith Moon. He would have enjoyed the postmortem idolatry even more than John Lennon.
Felix Pappalardi, of Mountain, April 17, 1983, murdered in the building where my dentist worked.
Elvis Presley, August 16, 1977, drug overdose aggravated by too many fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches. He would have enjoyed the deification.
Billy Preston - R&B keyboardman who became famous for his work with the Beatles, died June 5, 2006, of kidney failure.
Fred "Sonic" Smith -- of MC5, later husband of Patti Smith (no blood relation). died November 5, 1994, of heart disease.
Henry Vestine -- guitarist with Canned Heat; died October 20, 1997, of a heart attack.
Rob Tyner -- singer for MC5, died September 17, 1991 of heart failure while driving home from the grocery store.
Dave Van Ronk - "the Mayor of Macdougal Street" and early nurturer of many folksingers; died February 10, 2002, of colon cancer.
Alan Wilson -- guitarist with Canned Heat. He killed himself in Bob Hite's backyard September 3, 1970.
Frank Zappa -- rock's cranky innovator and first-amendment advocate who clashed famously with anti-rock activist Tipper Gore over censorship of rock lyrics; died of prostate cancer on December 4, 1993. He would have loved that it was her husband who got the Nobel.
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