-- Look Like ZZ Top and Still Cross-Dress in Bagdad

by Michael Jahn

There was a report on National Public Radio this morning about a soon-to-be suicide bomber in Iraq. The reporter made it clear that the young man wished to remain anonymous. Then she pointed out that he

*Has a degree in accounting

*Attended Iraq’s National Security College

*Was a member of Saddam’s Secret Police

*Was injured fighting American troops during the invasion and walks on crutches

*Has vowed not to shave or cut his hair until the Americans leave Iraq, as a result of which his beard goes down to the middle of his chest and his pony tail goes way down his back

*Plans to dress up like a woman so he can hide the bomb beneath the robes. (I suppose that looking like ZZ Top won’t stop a guy planning to cross-dress in Bagdad.)

*Left behind a string of witnesses to all of the above.

Hells bells, Harriet, Inspector Clouseau could find this guy! A blind boy scout with a hearing aid could find this guy. Even the CIA could track him down in five minutes, and that’s even if he doesn’t get caught on the security camera while going into the 7-11 to get matches for the fuse.

Why, finding this man is so simple even a caveman can do it.

Jeez, you can start by keeping an eye out for the bearded lady on crutches with a bulge under her burka.

You say, he can shave off the beard? No, because he vowed not to cut it until American troops leave Iraq. So if he cuts it now he’s breaking a solemn vow and THAT can’t sit too well with the heavenly host that hands out virgins.

Of course, he could wait to blow something up until we leave – but imagine what his beard will look like then.

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